Thanks for subscribing to the newsletter for LiveOnPurpose.info. Live On Purpose is about helping you become conscious of your thought patterns, so you can make better decisions in your life. Don't live an accidental life! Live on purpose. This month's focus is on the quest for happiness.

But first, an On-Purpose maxim:

You are today where your thoughts have brought you; you will be tomorrow where your thoughts take you. ~James Allen

Use this link to access this month's wallpaper (now archived) in five popular screen resolutions. It says, "I am responsible for my own happiness." Use this affirmation to remind yourself that you cannot blame anyone else for your unhappiness. You have made decisions up until this point that enabled whatever behaviors are making you upset right now.

It has a purple background with a silhouette of a woman in modified lotus position. There is a glow of yellow, green and turquoise coming from the figure, and simplified butterflies (for the symbol of transformation) fly out from the glow. I made this wallpaper starting with a photograph I asked my son to take of me. I used Photoshop to do all the rest!

Over the years my understanding of personal responsibility has expanded. At first, I thought it was about always "doing my best," as a kind of payback to everyone who had ever helped me. I thought it was about choosing what was right for the environment over my own convenience. I thought it was about not littering, being polite, and looking happy.

Later I came to understand that by bearing children, I owe it to them to work on my mental health, to make sure I don't pass down the dysfunctional behaviors I learned from my parents.

And now I come to understand that I have a personal responsibility to raise my own awareness of my inner mental state, and become aware of the motivations for my decisions. I must work hard to accept what I never could accept before (as a young adult): that I got myself into this mess, and no one else is to be responsible for my happiness and peace but myself.

Of course, listening to Holosync over the years has helped me come to this realization. But I also have never stopped reading self-help books, although I've slowed down considerably since having children! I started doing all this investigation into self-help because I was depressed, and I had no clue what happiness was. I remember the day in the grocery store when I thought all the models on the glossy magazines were mocking me with their display of happiness, as if to say, "I have it all, and what do you have?" I remember the days when I would hold on to grudges and feel offended by some off-color comment, and when I couldn't shove the thoughts of hatred and blame out of my head.

I admit this to you to let you know that I've been there, I've traveled through it, and I have learned lessons and changed because of it. I didn't want to live in that place of hatred and blame forever, and now I see we all have a personal responsibility to pull ourselves out of that place, and no one can do it for us.

As you travel through your path to self-development, make sure you do it for self growth, not for happiness. When happiness is the goal, you will realize soon enough that emotional states are temporary and transient. I have a feeling that what most people think their goal of "happiness" will feel like is actually equivalent to "inner peace." If you aim for personal growth, you will hit more goals faster, because it will enable you to make the decisions you were putting off for fear of failure, or of criticism, or of discomfort. Sure, it's uncomfortable to admit that "I was the one who ____ (insert action here!) so I am the one who has to take action to make it better." But making the right decision will help you hit the goal of self growth. In the end, happiness is a byproduct of a life lived with integrity and attention to your emotional states.

They say happiness will come about when you think positive and stay focused on the right thoughts. Well, whose "Right thought " is it?

The whole concept of right thought is a school unto itself. Remember that for the person addicted to the feeling of shame (or anger, etc.), the right thought that will bring about those feelings is different from someone else’s “right thought.”

Here is where we can let ourselves be led by our emotional guidance system. When we generate unbalanced thoughts we feel, at a deeper level, an uncomfortable feeling which leads to a sense of guilt, of being misaligned. When you feel that, take some time alone to think about where it came from, and know that you generated that feeling, so you must rebalance yourself by taking some action! A simplified example:

While riding my friend's bicycle, I crash and bend the pedal. If I try to return the bike and say nothing, I will feel guilt and shame, because I will have taken the coward's path. If I return the bike and explain that I had an accident and offer to pay for the damage, I don't feel shame or guilt. If I don't have the money to pay for the damage, then I'll need to offer my service.

Childhood trauma: A severe impediment to adult happiness is the occurrence of childhood trauma, including but not limited to physical and mental abuse during the formative years between 0-3, and even older. Studies on adults have shown that of clinically depressed women who suffered severe stress early in life, there is a "smaller hippocampal volume" as well as "persistent changes in the hypothalamic-pituitary-adrenal axis." That's a fancy way to say that childhood trauma changes your brain structure for the rest of your life.

Childhood Trauma Associated With Smaller Hippocampal Volume in Women With Major Depression American Journal of Psychiatry 159:2072-2080, December 2002.

If you are suffering now because of your childhood, don't give up on yourself! Seek out as much help as you can, and don't limit yourself to one method of help. Combine many different therapies, such as talk therapy, bodywork (massage, reiki, chiropractic), nutritherapy, Holosync, meditation, reading, etc. to help you get to the root of your issues. The feelings of blame and hatred can be released, but it takes extra work, and professional help. Again, don't give up.

~~~~~

All past issues of this newsletter are online. You can see them at the bottom of the newsletter signup page.

Holosync is an excellent way to guide your personal growth and increase your ability to be creative, to learn, and to cope with life's problems. I have used this CD program since about 2004 and I completely recommend it to everyone. If you have never tried Holosync, go see the web site for yourself.

If you are currently suffering any kind of abuse, please refer to National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) in the USA.

Thanks for reading,

Jessica A.
http://www.liveonpurpose.info

337 S Tucson Way, Aurora, CO 80012