Living On Purpose

This web site, Live on Purpose, is popular with people looking for desktop wallpapers. I found a very cool source for desktop wallpapers, but don’t stop there. The web site BrainPaint features a new biofeedback method that just blows my mind. These images were painted from neurofeedback from the patient’s brainwaves. They look reminicent of fractals; some are beautiful and some are disturbing. The practice of neurofeedback is now getting press because children with ADD or ADHD can use it as an alternative to the medical standard prescription of Ritalin.

Neurofeedback helps in concentration, focus, and retraining your brain! I’d say this should be the first line of treatment for ADD, not some “alternative” therapy!

BrainPaint desktop wallpapers

There is a biofeedback video game that I played only for several minutes at a conference. Journey to the Wild Divine uses finger clips to read your pulse and you control the game entirely through your willpower. Their own byline: The Wild Divine Project provides entertaining, multimedia solutions to promote self-care
and personal wellness. Our training tools use your body’s own biometrics together with our creative, computer-based tools and techniques, to help you learn to relax and reduce stress.

Wild Divine

All of us go through hard times, enough so that I believe one needs the difficult, stressful times in one’s life to push through to a new developmental level. If you are always in your comfort zone, there will be no impetus for change. Bill Harrris of Centerpointe teaches in his most recent blog post that to overcome your stressful situation, you need four things:

• awareness
• motivation
• understanding of your mental processes
• practice in watching them (develop your watcher)

I have been a step-parent for about twelve years, and I’m also a mother, so I’ve had the chance to reflect on the differences between the two roles. I have encountered numerous frustrations with being a step-parent, and I have realized that in order to be comfortable in this role, you have to be okay with you first; or as I said it: “I have to be okay with me, and that’s very important.”

I say this because your step-children will be testing you from day one! As you encounter their teen years, there will be rebellion and contrary attitudes. Of course, your own birth children will also test you, and rebel when they are teens, but the step-children tend to use the “you’re not my Mom” approach and they may end up asking your spouse to take sides, or they may simply ignore your rules.

I have a friend who asked me, “Wow, you’ve got more experience than I do in parenting teens…what’s your advice for me? I have twins who are about to be teenagers!”

I told him, as I tell all of you, “You and your spouse have to be a united front when it comes to parenting decisions. If there is any division between you about how to parent your children, they will find it and use it against you! That means you actually have to have meetings with your spouse and talk about your differing parenting styles.” (How do you think I learned this? That’s right, because my husband and I have completely different parenting styles and the children saw it in our behavior–read in: bickering.)

So, why do I have to be okay with me? This phrase is something I learned from Bill Harris and the support materials that come with the Holosync CD meditation system. It implies self-forgiveness. Sure, I’ve messed up in the past. All I have is right now, and my best option for now is to be okay with myself as I am, so I can make the best decisions in regards to my children and step-children’s lives. My own guilt, fear, and negative reactions get in the way of effective parenting. Who knows, I may not even be very effective with my step-children, because they tend to come and go between their two parents, but in the long run, I hope that my “teaching by example” style will help them somehow.

When I’m stressed by the choices my children and step-children make, I say this prayer:

• God grant me right thought, right speech, and right action today.

When I’m calm, I say it like an affirmation:

• I demonstrate right thought, right speech, and right action.

And, of course, my time spent in meditation with the Holosync CD, linked above, helped me to “chill out” from my typical over-reactions to some of the distressing behaviors I noticed in the children. Now I lose my temper much less frequently than I did four years ago.

Here are some online resources to help step-parents with their blended families:

Blended Families

National Stepfamily Resource Center

A List of helpful links for stepfamilies

As I ponder on the meaning of living on purpose, I wonder how to bring up the issue of landfills and recycling. I’ve been wondering for some time now. I like to think that if you’re aware of the choice you’re making when you throw something away, you’re living on purpose. If something is in your hands, and you walk over to the trash can and watch it leave your fingers and land in the trash, it’s like affirming,

“I am sending you to the landfill because that’s the best place for you.”

Or perhaps it’s like stating,

“I’m sending you to the landfill because I’m too lazy to investigate whether there is somewhere better for you.”

Around me in my little neighborhood, only three or four houses put out recycling bins. That’s because the city where I live forces you to pay extra to get recycling pickup. But still, I see little interest in reducing the trash going to landfills from many people, even the ones I “preach recycle” to. As a citizen of the world, however, I believe that all of us have personal responsibility for the things that pass through our hands. And I just found a man who believes this way, too. He’s embarked on a year long experiment in waste reduction by sending all his trash to his own basement instead of the landfill.

Here is a little of what Sustainable Dave has learned:

“But I think the most enlightening aspect of this challenge is discovering how hard it was to change a basic habit. Try training yourself to never throw anything away and you’ll see what I mean. Having said that, now that I have gotten used to it, I don’t even think of heading for the garbage can anymore. It’s actually become a part of my routine. And that got me to thinking.

The “solutions” that we all read about daily are all out there, yet many find it hard to change. For some, it’s a matter of not knowing where to start. For others, it’s a question of information. And for many more of us, it’s a tendency to give up due to how overwhelming it all can be.”

Changing habits is very difficult, indeed. It really is all about re-training yourself. Whether you are re-training your brain to think about what you really do want instead of what you don’t want, or re-training yourself to actually screw on the toothpaste cap (or even just flip the lid closed), or re-training yourself to become a more sustainable citizen of the world, change takes practice and persistence.

Practice and persistence lead to purpose!

365 Days of Trash by Sustainable Dave

What kind of mental image does the word “meditation” conjure for you? Some think it means chanting in a foreign language, twisting your legs into the lotus position, or even idol worship. These are stereotypes! I have spoken to several Christians who would not like to consider taking up meditation because of their misconceptions of it. Verily, you do not have to sacrifice your religious beliefs to take up meditation; you will not be doing anything sacrilegious.

If you are a Christian, know that I found mention of meditation in many places in the bible. It is suggested that you find a quiet place to go within and think about The Lord! That’s meditation! Throughout Psalms, there are verses that say I will meditate on your decrees, on your wonders, on your unfailing love, on all your wonderful works. Here’s a nice one:

My meditation of him shall be sweet; I will be glad in the Lord. Psalm 104:34

It seems to be in vogue now for the medical community to suggest meditation for stress relief. Long-time meditators who started for the end-goal of enlightenment may suggest that the best and only reason to meditate is for the dissolution of the ego, and all that health stuff comes in second place.

So what do you think? If a person starts meditation simply for the health benefits like reduced stress, controlling your thoughts, happiness, and increased concentration, will they also gain enlightenment?

Here are two links to read about that.

Pick the Brain

Will Holosync make you enlightened?

Just in case we were all confusing “living on purpose” with being serious all the time, I thought I’d “break the ice” a little bit. A friend over at Cafe Chronique just awarded me with an “Arte y Pico” award, whose origin is traced back to the country of Uruguay. Seeing the Spanish web site of the award, I got to thinking I would share some trinkets I recently brought back from El Salvador.

This one is a gem! It is a toilet paper holder, and it says, “In case of emergency, break the glass and then you choose.” “It is an honor to be born Salvadorenan”. And the punchline is that in the “glass” container there is a choice of a corncob or sandpaper.

Mama said there would be days like this!

And then there is this one. Haven’t you always wanted an image of the last supper printed in that special 3-D process that children’s books sometimes use? The caption on this woodblock wall hanging reads,

“Don’t tell your God how big your problem is, tell your problem how big your God is.”

And that is our “purposeful quote of the day”!!!

Humor needs to be a part of our lives, whether we think we’re living on purpose or not. The phrase “lighten up” indicates a different problem than a lack of a sense of humor, and the phrase “take your life more seriously” is not talking about a person’s overactive use of their sense of humor. These phrases are about priorities. What’s your priority?

Purposeful living is about awareness, and one facet of that awareness is in becoming an educated consumer. Yesterday I was standing in line at a hardware store. The woman and her daughter in front of me were buying a harsh pesticide meant to kill bedbugs. I just happen to know that these chemical treatments not only kill bedbugs, they also damage the immune function of anyone who breathes in the fumes. I’m talking about all pesticides, from outdoor bug and weed killers, to head lice shampoo, to bedbug spray treatments. There have been plenty of reports indicating that young children fall very ill after being exposed to these treatments; some respond after only one treatment, and some respond after repeated exposures. I don’t want to take a chance with my child’s life!

That woman had heard me ask the clerk if the store carried diatomaceous earth, and the clerk responded, “What’s that?” and so she waited outside to ask me if I knew how to treat bedbugs. I just about talked her ear off! I’ve never tried treating an infestation, but I’ve spoken on the phone with people who have.

This is where being an educated consumer comes in. There are pros and cons to many of life’s decisions. Use pesticides and you risk doing long term damage to your own health, and there is always the risk that the pests have developed an immunity to the pesticide (as in head lice and permethrin). Use diatomaceous earth and you’ll have to wear gloves and a face mask, as it’s a dusty application, and you may have inhalation hazards due to the nature of the substance.

But as an educated consumer, I would choose the diatomaceous earth over any chemical to take care of indoor insect infestations. People say it works for roaches, bedbugs, and spiders. But be careful, it also kills the beneficial insects like ladybugs (we need them to eat the aphids!) and that’s why I’d just use it indoors.

Well, well, well, we face tough choices every day. It takes a lot out of us to go ’round and ’round an issue to consider all the angles! Researching takes time, and when you’re faced with a sudden infestation of bedbugs, there is not enough time to consider; you just want them gone, don’t you? That’s why it’s prudent to think of these unthinkable situations before they happen, so you can react as an educated consumer would!

DIATOMACEOUS EARTH: A Non Toxic Pesticide

Diatomaceous earth at Wikipedia

I have learned from a non-denominational Christian church that grace is God’s gift to us humans. There is a song used in worship service called Grace Like Rain. It’s pretty much Amazing Grace sung in a near monotone with a new chorus put in. Lyrics by Todd Agnew:

Amazing grace, how sweet the sound
That saved a wretch like me
I once was lost but now I’m found
Was blind but now I see so clearly
Hallelujah, grace like rain falls down on me
Hallelujah, all my stains are washed away, washed away

‘Twas grace that taught my heart to fear
And grace my fears relieved
How precious did that grace appear
The hour I first believed
Hallelujah, grace like rain falls down on me
Hallelujah, all my stains are washed away, washed away

When we’ve been there ten thousand years
Bright shining as the sun
We’ve no less days to sing Your praise
Than when we first begun
Hallelujah, grace like rain falls down on me
Hallelujah, all my stains are washed away, washed away

It is that phrase, grace like rain falls down on me that has been repeating in my head these days. When rain falls from the sky, it doesn’t fall just on one person! It falls on everyone around that person, too. What else engulfs not just one, but everyone near? Light.

I propose that grace is also like light. Your world begins to glow with good things once you attain a certain state of grace. Every person you come into contact with may also receive the light. And realize also, that if you fall into a state of disgrace, it is not because God is punishing you. If grace is God’s gift, then disgrace is the withdrawal or absence of that gift, not a punishment. If grace is Light, then disgrace is an absence of light.

I recently saw a movie called States of Grace. The title itself is a play on the words grace and disgrace, and it refers to the fact that all of us humans are usually in a state somewhere between grace and disgrace, based on our past decisions. The movie’s main characters are LDS Mormon missionaries, but it’s not about being Mormon, it’s about being Human.

Don’t beat yourself up internally if you’ve made a mistake and fallen into disgrace. That would be like picking at a scab so it never heals. Time and Light and forgiveness will heal your internal wounds, and then you will find grace, a gift that we so often don’t even deserve!

Well, there is officially a “movement” going on about finding one’s life purpose. Jim White, author of What’s My Purpose? and creator of The Circle of Success, a customized, yearlong leadership and management transformation process has launched a blog about finding one’s life purpose. He’s looking for a million people who want to commit to finding their life’s purpose. I was the 92nd person to comment, and to date, there are 218 comments; all from people affirming that they are committed to the same goal. He will host a free teleseminar this Saturday, July 12, and it proves to be interesting.

What’s my purpose?

In order for a person (let’s say you) to arrive at a state of being where you can find your purpose (and live it, to boot!), there has to be awareness. This kind of awareness is internal, but it can start with external things. If you find yourself living on automatic, it will be beneficial to begin to develop a new habit of watching your thoughts, and even watching what you do with things (like the toothpaste cap, your keys, or the top to your peanut butter). If you realize that you’re thinking about stuff unrelated to what you’re doing while you perform daily tasks, (and then just focus on the task at hand) you’ll lose less things!

Zen philosophy: When you’re sitting, just sit; when you’re eating, just eat; and so on. According to Zen, existence is found in the silence of the mind (no-mind), beyond the chatter of our internal dialog.

Did you know that even the act of acknowledging your troubling thoughts can help you feel better?

The zen tradition focuses on bringing awareness to the breath during meditation. This, in turn, brings more awareness of the types of thoughts and reactions you’re having throughout the day. You can begin to actually watch thoughts, label them, choose to follow them or drop them. Wow, with thousands of thoughts happening during the day, this seems tedious, and lots of people give up after being overwhelmed.

There is a method of meditation, however, that is not so tedious, and can help you gain awareness like a Zen Master. It uses binaural beats to train the brain as you wear headphones and listen to a soundtrack, and after time your brainwave patterns become more symmetrical, meaning that you are calmer and not as easily swept into drama as before. I’ve already written a testimonial about my experience with Holosync here.  It really works for me. If you want to skip my testimonial, and read about Holosync from the source, here it is: Centerpointe.

Patient, heal thyself!

Most Americans consider the managed health care system that uses allopathic physicians (western doctors) as the only form of health care, but there are other methods of healing: chiropractic, alternative (or eastern medicine), massage and many varied forms of bodywork, just to name a few.

The body is capable of healing itself if we reduce the stressors to it. If we are to create our health on purpose, then of course, we have to give attention to our bodies, in the form of the proper nutrients, exercise, healthy mental attitudes, the proper rest, etc.

Read about Sherry Williams, a cancer survivor profiled on Dr. Weil’s web site. She describes her discovery of how stressed her life was:

Through self-discovery, I realized my health is more associated with my lifestyle and how I chose to cope with things than anything else.

As I look back over the two years prior to my cancer diagnoses, I was clearly overwhelmed, stressed-out, sleep-deprived, and had failed miserably at recognizing it. Living the fast-paced life that society forces upon us leaves us thinking this is the way it is supposed to be.

And then, she reveals the lesson she learned through her cancer diagnosis:

The body can actually heal itself if it is fed and nurtured properly. Unfortunately, often illness has to hit us - in my case, four times - before we are forced to stop and evaluate.

Living Well Using Weil

Through my personal experience with different alternative medicines, I have found that chiropractic care can help your body heal itself by reducing spinal pressure on your nerves. Every major organ in your body is governed by the nerves that emanate from your spinal cord. The body will manifest problems in the organ that corresponds to the nerve where excess compression exists.

Many people think a chiropractor is someone they turn to only if they’ve got a neck problem like whiplash or other injury related problems in the back. But I’ve been seeing a chiropractor for therapy for six months now, and I believe everyone could benefit from the special “brand” of chiropractors who belong to a group called Maximized Living. All of the doctors associated with this group receive consistent training. The link below is not an affiliate link. I am not being paid to endorse this group.

Maximized Living Click on “Find a Maximized Living Doctor”.

And, while we’re on the subject of purposeful healing, here is a special treat. Do you remember the movie Patch Adams? He is a real doctor with big dreams based in Virginia, USA. He’s the clown doctor who believes patients need to laugh and feel appreciated and cared for when they are in treatment. From his web site:

In spending this amount of time with patients, we found that the vast majority of our adult population does not have a day to day vitality for life (which we would define as good health). The idea that a person was healthy because of normal lab values and clear x-rays had no relationship to who the person was. Good health was much more deeply related to close friendships, meaningful work, a lived spirituality of any kind, an opportunity for loving service and an engaging relationship to nature, the arts, wonder, curiosity, passion and hope. All of these are time-consuming, impractical needs. When we don’t meet these needs, the business of high-tech medicine diagnoses mental illness and treats with pills.

So there you have it, straight from the doctors’ mouth! All the ingredients for good health are in the quote above. To live your life on purpose, incorporate things into your life that will bring you health, as described by Dr. Adams. Read about his vision for a totally free hospital, below.

Gesundheit Institute, Patch Adams